Photo by Denny Müller
What Does Equally Yoked Mean?
Can two Christians be unequally yoked in a relationship?
A yoke was a wooden beam put between two oxen to enable them to pull a load.
This made it easier for the two oxen to pull on a load than if one ox pulled by itself.
When a pair of oxen was said to be equally yoked, it meant that they had the same strength and ability to pull a load. None was stronger or weaker than the other. They matched one another.
When they were said to be unequally yoked, It meant that they had different strengths and abilities and could not pull the same load together.
If a pair of oxen was unequally yoked it could mean the work that needed to be done could not be accomplished.
In a godly marriage, when two people are equally yoked it means they have the capacity and ability to do what God intended for them to do together. Remember there is a purpose for your marriage and your life. There is something God intended to accomplish with your life and your relationship.
But if the two are unequally yoked it means they cannot do God’s purpose for their life and for their relationship.
The intention of two believers coming together in marriage is so as to pull together the load of God’s purposes for their life. It’s to pull on the load of life with each other and glorify God while at it.
When two strong believers come together, there is nothing that they won’t get done for God’s glory.
By saying that two people are equally yoked, we are also saying that they share similar beliefs, values, and dreams in life.
But when they are unequally yoked, they have very different beliefs, values, and goals in life.
To have a successful marriage, two people need to be walking in agreement concerning their beliefs, their values, and their goals in life.
Do you have similar beliefs? Do you believe the same about God and life? Are you both living a life of faith?
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV
Paul asks this question to the believers in Corinth. They were getting into relationships with unbelievers and thinking It’s no big deal.
Can a Christian be an unbeliever?
A Christian can be an unbeliever. Someone can say they are a Christian but live contrary to what they say they believe. This is what makes them an unbeliever (there are many unbelieving Christians in church).
A believer means you are living a life of faith in God. You are living according to the truth of God’s word. You are also living according to the laws of God. Your life is evidence of what you believe.
An unbeliever could be a Christian that doesn’t live by faith; they don’t believe God for anything. They don’t live according to God’s word but live like the world. Even though they are a child of God, they aren’t walking in light but are in darkness.
A few years ago I wanted to date this guy in church. The Holy Spirit said to me, “Leave him alone he is an unbeliever.” It shocked me because this guy was a church-going Christian.
What happens when a believer and an unbeliever get in a relationship?
They cannot serve God or steward God’s purposes. If one person is trying to live by faith and the other isn’t. The unbeliever will constantly be canceling out the believer’s faith.
Many Christians don’t understand the power of covenant, and how influential it is. They think they can marry someone who isn’t in faith and still live by faith. They will cancel you out. Your life will begin to look like theirs in no time when you set out to get them saved.
If the almighty, all-powerful God can’t get to them, Sis, leave him alone. He will only ruin your life and get you out of faith.
Values are the ideals we build our lives on. They are the foundations of our lives.
Examples of values are; what we believe about marriage and relationships; what we believe about money; what we believe about family or life in general.
Can two walk together without agreeing where to go? Amos 3:3
God asked me this question one time when I was trying to believe on behalf of someone who wasn’t walking in faith. I believed my faith would be enough for us. God asked me how are you two going to walk together when you are both headed in different directions?
A relationship only works when two people are in agreement with where they want to go.
You cannot steward a relationship with two people with different values.
You could be in a relationship where you believe in the sanctity of marriage and the person you are with doesn’t share your values on marriage.
How can you walk together? And if you do where will you go with your contradicting values?
Sis, probably not where you are hoping to end up.
Or you are with a person that has different values about family and raising a family than yours and you want to be married.
How will you walk together? How will you also steward your relationships? Whose values will you follow?
Maybe you believe in going to church and in fellowship but he doesn’t believe it’s important. How will you two walk together?
Same Dreams and Goals
Do you have dreams that complement each other? Can you see yourself partnering with his dreams?
When God puts two people together he makes sure their dreams complement each other. That’s why it’s important to make sure you are choosing someone in God. Otherwise, your dreams and vision for life will be very different.
A godly marriage is a vehicle that is intended to help you fulfill God’s purposes for your life. You come in to aid each other. Imagine when our dreams are different how will we then aid each other?
we’ll be like two roads parallel to each other but never merging.
Different dreams equals different destinations.
Or when one has dreams and the other doesn’t. The one who doesn’t know where they are going will end up hindering the one with dreams. They will not achieve their dreams.
Before getting married make sure you are equally yoked. You have the same beliefs; your values are in line and your goals in life are complementary to one another.
If you are in an unequally yoked relationship, either with a person who doesn’t believe in God or a Christian who doesn’t live by faith. I pray you get the courage to break it off and choose to wait on God for a man or woman who will be equally yoked with you. God will give you a person who shares your belief in God; has the same values as you and will complement your dreams.