SOUL TIES

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

A soul tie is a connection between two people that takes part in the soul realm.

It takes place in one’s soul; which is the mind, will, and emotions. When two people have a soul tie they can affect each other thoughts and emotions. They also can influence each others’ will, that is, what one chooses to do.

Different Ways That Soul Ties Form

Sexual Intimacy

This is the strongest form of a soul tie. It happens when two people come together in sexual intimacy.

 When two people come together sexually their body releases a chemical known as “oxytocin” also popularly referred to as “the bonding hormone”.

God’s design for sex in a marriage is to bond a couple together, as well as help them stay faithful to one another.

Emotional Connection

Two people can become connected through sharing their emotions. This would explain a situation where there is a soul tie between two people who aren’t sexually intimate. It’s a less powerful bond and can be easily broken.

 It is possible to form a soul tie by going through something or through sharing an experience. An example is pain; Pain is a powerful emotion that can bond two people together.

Vows and Commitments

We can form soul ties through spoken vows and commitments.

Vows like “I will love you forever,” “I will never be with another person,” “I cannot live without you” have the power to tie our souls to people.

In the realm of the spirit, words have the power to give life to things. Our words can give life and create bonds and ties with people.

Different Types of Soul Ties in the Bible

1. Soul Tie Between a Man and his Wife

Genesis 2: 24

Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh

This is the first time a soul tie is mentioned in the Bible and it’s between a married couple.

God intended for a marriage covenant to protect sex because of what is formed when two people come together in sexual intimacy.

Here a man and a woman come together and a soul tie is created through the consummation of the marriage; through sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy bonds them together and they become one flesh.

The purpose of this soul tie is for sustaining a marriage. It also helps them to stay committed to one another. As they become one flesh they begin to share thoughts, share emotions and have one heart. This was for two to be able to walk together in agreement, to serve God, and fulfill His purpose for them.

Having sex outside of the marriage covenant doesn’t stop two people from becoming bonded to each other and becoming one flesh. God’s standard for sex doesn’t change. This results in pain and brokenness for it was never meant to function outside of this parameter.

2. Soul Tie between Friends

1 Samuel 18:1

As soon as David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

This kind of a soul tie or soul connection is often referred to as “covenant friendship”.

God knits the soul of David and Jonathan together to help David become king. Jonathan teaches David how to be a king, how to lead an army and how to battle. Through this soul tie, Jonathan was able to give David what he needed to become the next king of Israel.

When God knits two people together in this kind of friendship it’s to accomplish His will on earth. Often, what the two do together is usually greater than what they can do on their own.

Ruth and Naomi in the book of Ruth is another example of this kind of a soul tie.

We find this kind of soul tie also in business. So many companies today have emerged from covenant partnerships like this. And their impact is usually global.

God also knits people in covenant relationships for ministry. He gives two people one vision, which enables them to do what He needs to be done in a generation.

3. An Ungodly Soul Tie

Genesis 34: 2-3

When Shechem the son of Hamor, the Hivite, prince of the land saw her, he kidnapped her and lay[intimately] with her by force[humbling and offending her]. But his soul longed for and clung to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke comfortingly to her.

Because of sexual intimacy a bond forms between Shechem and Dinah. Even though their coming together wasn’t mutual it doesn’t prevent a soul tie from forming between the two.

The soul tie deceives Shechem into believing he loved her. But from the context of the story, we know that’s not true because his actions were not out of love but out of selfish lust. Love has to be consensual. It will not force itself on others.  Shechem rapes Dinah and takes something from her that she didn’t willingly give.

We see the power of sexual intimacy, in that it can create the illusion of love even where there isn’t love.

This can be used to explain why people stay in abusive relationships. The abused person may believe that the person abusing or hurting them is doing it out of love. But it’s not because there is love but because of the soul tie that is formed through sexual intimacy.

God originally designed sex to fuel love in a marriage covenant. It’s also meant to strengthen and deepen the relationship. Where love is absent, sex creates a lie that feels like love even when everything else is screaming this is not love.

Outside of God’s intent, sex becomes a tool of manipulation and control to prevent them from leaving the relationship.

4. Soul Tie from Casual Sex

1 Corinthians 6:16

Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute becomes one with her in body? For it is said, ” the two shall become one flesh.”

Paul here is addressing a culture that believed that sex was just sex.

The believers in Corinth had fallen into the culture of the day and were having casual sex with prostitutes (crazy right?)

He quotes Genesis 2: 24 where sex is first mentioned in the Bible. And it is between a man and his wife and the two became one flesh.

There is no such thing as casual sex contrary to the belief of today’s culture.  God created sex to be multidimensional, your body and soul are involved in sexual intimacy.

There is a commentary that says that becoming one flesh is like becoming “cemented to”. So, in reality, they were becoming cemented in soul and body to the people they were having sex with.

 There is a soul exchange that also takes place when two people have sex. Whatever is in one person’s soul pours out into the soul of the other person.

Because of this, there are so many people struggling with things they got from people they had sex with.  Drug addictions, demonic influences, depression, mood swings, and sicknesses can be passed from one soul to the other during sex.

 Sexual intimacy bonds the two people to each other. When they break away, it’s like trying to break apart two pieces of wood that were glued together.

There is no way of separating the two without fracturing the two pieces of wood. Leaving some fragments of one piece on the other wood and vice versa.

This is what happens whenever people have sex then break away. There is a fragmenting that takes place. This ends up leaving parts of their soul with the other person and vice versa.

When people keep having sex with people they aren’t married to, their soul keeps breaking off and is left with that person.

This is why Paul was telling them there is no such thing as casual sex. It’s so much more than bodies coming together. There is a lot more that happens in the soul realm than we can see.

The good news is, God can restore the parts of you that have been broken and make you whole. A complete restoration happens when we give our lives to Jesus. He mends everything in us that’s broken and makes it new. Your soul can be restored, it doesn’t matter how many times it has been fragmented.

Soul ties are powerful, and marriage is the only place where this soul tie can be protected and preserved. This was God’s design from the beginning.

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