Are you single and wondering what exactly you should be doing in this season? Or have you been waiting a long time to get married and things don’t seem to change? Are you distracted by this world?
It’s very easy to be distracted from what is important, in a world of fast internet, social media, and an endless supply of entertainment. God’s intention for us is to be present in every season. When we walk and do life with God every season is enjoyable. It’s possible to be content and satisfied in singleness.
Here are a few things to help you have a purposeful single season
1. Wholly Devoted unto the Lord
The number one concern for the godly single should be their relationship with God. God should be your priority. But, many things can distract us that we have no time for God.
1 Corinthians 7: 32-3
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs- how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world- how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the lord’s affairs: her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world- how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord
There is a huge difference between a married and a single person. A married person is divided in their attention because they have to please the lord and their spouse. But the single person should be undistracted in their devotion to the Lord.
It’s easy to be single and distracted. Concentrate on cultivating your relationship with God in this season. Let me ask you how much of your time have you given to the lord in this season? How much of your time are you using to study the Word and pray? How much time are you investing in cultivating your spirit?
Because we made sure that our relationship with God was in order. We’ll find the time even with the demand of a spouse, children, and a career. Do not be distracted with dating and relationships that you barely have time to give to the Lord. Don’t let the idea of getting married become a distraction in singleness.
2. Purpose
Do you know that you are here for a reason? Have you figured out what you want to do with your life? Your gifting, abilities, and dreams are all a sign of the calling that is upon your life.
God is intentional. You will know your purpose because you’ll have a natural ability to do it. You will enjoy it to the point of doing it for free if necessary.
Purpose is important because it’s what ensures that we aren’t drifting through life. There are so many Christians drifting through life because they don’t know why on earth they are here
Take the time when you are single to try different things until you know what your purpose is. Pray and ask God to reveal His purpose for you. Get around a community that can see what God has put in you and can call it out. Find opportunities to see if doors will open for you in that area.
Having a purpose is important because it’s the foundation of our life. Everything else is built on this. Marriage will flourish in purpose. Dreams will come to fruition where there is purpose. Anything we build in purpose will last and bring glory to God.
Genesis 2:15, 18
The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
God puts man in Eden and gives him work. Then he makes a helpmeet for him to help him with tending the garden.
Before getting married a man has to have work. He has to have a purpose and be working on it, when he gets married the woman comes in, to aid him in his purpose.
If a man doesn’t know what his purpose is and marries, he will only bring a woman into confusion and waste her time. Don’t waste a godly woman’s time. Know what you are called to do before inviting her into your life.
As a woman, know what you are called to do so that you can choose a man whose purpose is complementary to yours.
3. Wholeness
It’s your duty as a single to make sure you are as whole as you can be. Wholeness is a journey. We will always be growing and getting transformed throughout our life. However, there are things you can work on now that will simplify the next season of your life.
Your single season should be a time where you deal with your brokenness. Deal with the things that will hinder your walk with God and the things that might hinder your marriage.
Shorten the amount of work and time another person has to put in to deal with your stuff. They will be dealing with their stuff too.
Contrary to what many single people believe. Marriage is not a fix-all for all your issues. In fact, it’s more of an amplifier. Marriage will not fix your lust problem, it will amplify it. Your lack of self-control will not disappear when you get married. Marriage won’t resolve your unforgiveness and anger. Neither will your overspending and debt work itself out because you say I Do. Marriage will become a ground for those things to get bigger. So deal with your stuff beforehand.
Two whole people equal a great marriage, while two broken people make a broken marriage. A healthy marriage begins in your single season. Where you work on yourself and take care of your business.
4. Preparation
How many people will get on a journey or take a trip abroad without preparation? When we want to go on a journey we make sure we are well prepared. We put together the things we’ll need in our suitcases and bags. We make lists of all the things we need to do and tick them off as we go to make sure we leave nothing out.
Marriage is a journey, yet, so many are entering marriage without prior preparation. Many Christian singles don’t know what marriage requires. They have not done research nor prayed and asked God about it. You take marriage seriously by preparing for it. Preparation is a sign that you’re planning to be successful.
Learn how to build a godly marriage. Get mentors, read books, watch videos online of married couples and learn from them. Learn what are the challenges that most people face and how one can prepare for them when single. Find a couple that has a great marriage and ask questions. Watch how married people relate and what they deal with.
Get in the word of God and study what the Bible has to say about marriage and what God expects from a godly marriage. Study the lives of bible characters that stewarded marriages well and see how they did it. The bible is a wealth of knowledge on marriage and life in general. Study it and get mentored for the next season of your life.
Marriage is God’s design, it can be the best or the worst thing. It’s supposed to be a mirror of Christ and His church. But, if we don’t know what it is for we will not be able to steward it. Don’t waste your single season. Steward your singleness and learn about marriage so you can do it well when the time comes.
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